Hey Bestie!
So, obviously... I moved to Virginia. When I reached the literal state of Virginia, I was firstly amazed that there can be drivers worse than the drivers in Massachusetts. Granted, I was a little cranky by this time, I have driven for almost 12 hours.
But I learned a hard lesson.
Some back story, I am extremely hard-headed, definitely one of my red flags. I usually learn from failing. There are times where I don't need to fail to learn something, but I would say about 60% of my life lessons have come from me, fcking around, and finding out. IYKYK, okay.*
The Studio Apartment Surprise
Some more backstory, I didn't tour any apartments I applied for. I really said, God you got me. So, when I first pulled up, I was not the happiest girl. I did indeed cry, but this story is really for another blog.
Fast F O R W A R D
I am in my studio apartment now, everything from the UHAUL is unloaded and in my apartment. I am tired, hungry, and I am sad because I am not the happiest about the quality of the apartment. Now, on top of that, I am furniture-less because I wanted to move without large furniture so that I can make the most about my space.
The Moment of Loneliness
So, I am all sad and boo-hoo AND sleeping on my mattress on the literal cold hard ground. Even poor Franklin was bed-less, he was sleeping in his carry-on for 2 days, my poor baby.
Then, what hit me was, I WAS ALONE.
Chile, when I tell you my heart sunk. I couldn't bother Joanna, Dolapo was not on my couch asleep. Taylor was not around the corner. I couldn't call Keline or Bernard to come over. I was so sad. I actually never have lived alone, truly alone. I never had a single in college, I lived in a single in suite, but my suite mate was literally in the room right next to me. Then honestly living right next to Joanna, one of my best friends, was amazing. To leave her was truly difficult.
I also decided to move from the city to the suburbs.... I MADE A LOT OF JUMPS all at once. I also still don't have my car yet, so I am not 'mobile'. So I was alone and low-key stuck in my furniture, box-filled studio apartment that I really don't like.
Turning to Faith and Gratitude
The rest of my night consisted of me crying on the floor, missing all of my loved ones and sad to be alone*
*Franklin is here too I understand.
I prayed to God, to take away all of my sad, fear, guilt, and anxiety feelings and to fill me with hope, happiness, and inspiration. In order for me to switch these emotions, I immediately changed my direction to gratitude. I drove a UHaul for the first time for 11+ hours from Boston to Virginia, only stopping for gas. I had the courage to move away from all the people I loved, and even further away from my family. Franklin was alive and well. I was alive and well. I now have the chance to experience life with my close friends in the DMV. How lucky am I, to have friends all over the country and to have/make memories with them all during our formative years. How lucky am I to have friends wherever I move to. How blessed I am.
Being alone has made me feel so sad, that it has challenged me to ask why. This studio has seen an array of emotions from me. With so much more to come. but I feel so much growth will come from here.
The best part of the 12 hours in Virginia, was realizing I got there alone. Regardless of my initial emotions, proud is an understatement.
Cheers to growth, cannot wait to see what 12 months from now looks like.
xoxo,
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